Anxiety. Unrest. Stress. Bundle of nerves.

We have as many names for "I don't like my life as I know it" as the eskimos do for snow.

Why is that? Particularly in the Christian world?

Well, because we live in a fallen world, saved by grace.

And while our sins are atoned for, we still fail to trust in the Lord.

How many times does He reiterate that in the Bible?! He knew that we'd have to hear it a million different ways, to be reminded a million different times.

"He maketh me lie down in green pastures, He restoreth my soul."
"Be still and know that I am GOD."
"In this world, you will have troubles. But take heart! I have overcome the world!"
"Fear not, for I am with you."
"I am the Lord; I have called you in righteousness;
I will take you by the hand and keep you..."

Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.”

28 And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” 29 He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, [13] he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” 31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” 32 And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33 And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

Now, I can't take much credit for what I'm about to say, as I heard one part of my ideas in a sermon last Wednesday. But right now is a very scary time in my life...for me. I know my problem isn't big; I know it's not going to shatter any real dreams of mine, but it's my problem. It's what is taking my focus off the Lord who loves me and focuses it on fears. I now live alone. Yup, that's it! Can you believe it!? That this insignificant, trivial thing is making me so scared of my own life!? I'm heathly. I've got friends and a family who love me. And frankly, my apartment is beautiful. I mean, beautiful. I couldn't ask for more unless I wanted to live in some fancy dancy high rise and pay a million dollars. It's small, but one person doesn't need much room...it's really just perfect. But there are two huge fears: that I'm alone in the present, and that I'll always be alone. here. living in my apartment. I'm even scared of getting a cat...b/c that would SHOW the world that I'm afraid of *really* living by myself. Now, multiple people have said to me, "Kristin, it's tough at first. But you'll get used to it...and you'll probably even really end up liking it." And, I trust them. I've adapted a bunch of times to moving...23 times, to be exact. But I'm done with that idea. I want something else.

But yet, here I am. Where I've "chosen", but God's put me. Alone.

And yet, never alone.

Three things stood out to me from that tiny cross-section of Biblical referencing...

1. He talks about our fears in a real way. He knows we have them, and he doesn't dismiss them at all except when Peter is in the PHYSICAL PRESENCE of the Lord. He knows we'll feel this way, and just like a father does, he works to calm our fears. He doesn't say "Oh, shut it, it's not so bad...look at that other guy! He's got it BAD. You? You think living alone is bad?! HA!" He says, "Don't be scared, Kristin. I'm here. I want you to lean on ME. Not your friends, not anybody. In the end, you need me. I've given you them as support...but you can't be strong only through them. You've got to lean on me. I want you to take my help! Come, sit and stay awhile with your Lord - your father, protector, and savior. Spend some time in my presence."

2. He's talking in the imperative. He's telling us what to do. He doesn't ask...he tells. "Kristin. DO NOT fear. I'm here." He's no guy begging for attention..."Oh, C'mon Kristin...I can help ya, if you let me...could you please think about maybe not worrying and kinda trust in me if you feel like it?" Nope. He's a powerful God. He knows who's boss...and it's Him. He's TOLD me not to fear. Not to be anxious. I can't tell what tomorrow will hold, so why even think on it? (I laugh a little at myself because I know this is one of my biggests faults/sins...to worry about tomorrow, but I know the truth and I do work on getting better at not worrying...) Point is, He's our DAD, and that's his rule. When my earthly father says, "we're not going to do this or that," that's the end of it. For example, I don't smoke. Because my parents told me not to. And I certainly wouldn't start in my father's house if I was going to break that rule. In fact, the idea doesn't even cross my mind b/c it's so far from an option in my life. Therefore, when God makes a rule - whether it's one of the ten commandments or any of the other imperative comments he makes in His own book, (for example, when he says, "I say to you, REJOICE. I'll say it again...REJOICE.") It's a rule! We need to follow it. And it should be so second nature to us, so ingrained in our being, that that's just what we do. We don't even have to think of NOT DOING those things as an option for our lives...it's just our modus opparandi. Now unfortunately, this is going to be very, very difficult for us as our sinful natures like to constantly stand in our way, and Satan's going to try to get at us anyway he can. But we need to pursue God at all times, and when we fall, we need to keep getting up from our sins and keep running back to Him and his rules that are so necessary to keep, we don't even think about following them - we just do.

3. The last thing. He does it all. He's always done it all. Because, you see...it's all about Him. In a wonderful and awesome way. He saved us from our sin, He created us, and He wants us to find our meaning in Him. The end, no questions. He can comfort, and He provides in a way that no one else ever can in our lives. We...I...just need to remember that.